


The Breaking of Karin Kurosaki

by Theincrediblesulkmachine



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Humor, I just want to be done with this, Light Angst, Misunderstandings, No-one cares, OC is Ulquiorra's sister, Old work, Original Characters - Freeform, Pining, Pretend Relationships, Pretend that the pacing makes sense please, Romance, Short Jokes Galore, Timeline What Timeline, Toushiro is tall, Why Did I Write This?, assumed cheating, because im a procrastinating idiotic perfectionist, cifer spelled as schiffer, confused kids in love, dont take it too seriously, everyone is happy, grimmjow is the love of my life, i have a thing for the grumpy ones, improving quality of writing, its a common theme, its changing more than i thought, its cleared up pretty quick, its complete but im rewriting it, lots and lots of it, pinefest, plot unchanged, these characters have a mind of their own, they're taking themselves very seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-06 03:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theincrediblesulkmachine/pseuds/Theincrediblesulkmachine
Summary: Kara Schiffer convinced that the feelings are mutual, encourages her best friend Toushiro Hitsugaya, to confess to long-standing crush Karin Kurosaki. What she really doesn't expect as a result, is a week of pure insanity.





	1. Rejection

**Author's Note:**

> Old work, completely random baseless fluff with probable potential for angst (since its my writing)
> 
> I may have rewritten it a little, (okay a lot) because i couldn't stand how crappy this was :P the plot is largely unchanged, so you'll probably see a lot of holes, but i tried improving the flow and dialogue from the 9th grade shitpool it previously existed in.  
> Don't judge.
> 
> I don't own Bleach or any of the characters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins.

* * *

* * *

All things considered, it was a typical lunch. Cacophonous noise, shitty food and her best-friend making moon-eyes at Karin Kurosaki.

"Go for it."  Kara told him, apropos of absolutely nothing.

"Go for what?" Toushiro turned to look at her with obvious effort, blinking confused sea-foam green eyes at her.

She couldn't help rolling her eyes back at him, because seriously? "Ask her out already, dumbass."

 "Who are you talking about?" He asked, nonchalant voice not even marginally convincing with the way his calm expression began to fray.

"You're just one step removed from following her home, Shiro; I think you know who I'm talking about." Kara said, matter of fact, barely even raising her eyes from her lunch tray.

At his prolonged silence, she looked up. "What."

"I haven't done anything." He muttered defensively, hand rising automatically to scratch at his neck.

Kara sighed, a great big one, because this was really happening. She pondered continuing to eat, and just ignoring the situation like she had been doing so far; stabbing a fork into the food and meeting maximum resistance, however, quickly made her reconsider.

"Okay, listen up, Tater Tot.” she said, shoving away her tray, and settling back in her chair to give the boy across her some serious stink-eye. “I am not stupid, and you are not subtle. Also, if you're _really_ trying to lie your way out of this, maybe begin with not _staring_ at her?"

Toushiro made a small embarrassed sound, almost a _meep_ , though Kara knew he'd deny it to his dying day, and tore his eyes away from the girl barely a few feet away. Succumbing to the visible need to hide his face, he burrowed his head into folded arms. "When are you going to give the short jokes a rest?"

"Never." she said, cheerfully flicking back her dark ponytail from pale shoulders. "So, you going to ask her out or what, Armrest?"

He lifted his head, just enough that his eyes were visible from the fold of his arms, and stared at her. "I am _taller_ than you." the plea in his voice cracking into a slightly higher pitch. “Stop.”

"It's cute how you always seem to think that'll work, Captain Atom." Kara smiled, small, even and evil incarnate.

Toushiro huffed, visibly deflating as he let the irritation go. "She'll turn me down." he finally said, almost inaudible, as he sank back into the refuge of his arms. "She wouldn't even look at me twice."

"How about you put that blinding denial away for a minute, since you refuse to take my word for it, and just see for yourself that she's been looking far more often than _twice?"_

He jerked his head up, swiveling in Karin’s direction. Sea-foam met dark grey, the owner of the grey quickly averting her eyes. "You mean it?" he asked, seemingly re-energized.

"Um, yes." she blinked, emerald green eyes gentle in a way that implied that she thought him extremely slow, but loved him anyway. "So, please, do us all a solid, and put us out of our misery over this very _mutual_ pine-fest."

Toushiro smiled a little, and nodded. “Okay, yeah.” He paused momentarily, gaze fixed over her shoulder, as he got up. “Oh hey, Ulquiorra just caught my eye and pointed at you rather imperiously. I assume that means he wants me to tell you to go over.”

Kara looked back, and true to Shiro’s words, Ulquiorra was looking over; he tilted his chin up at her, a blatant ‘come here’ in narrowed green eyes.

She sighed; better to see what that was about than deal with a pissy brother later. Sliding her seat back, Kara got up, smoothing out her light turquoise shirt. She dumped her practically-full tray on her way to her brothers table.

"What?” She said in lieu of a greeting.

"Kara." he said, holding out his hand without looking up from the book in front of him. “Keys.”

“That’s why you _summoned_ me?” She said incredulously.

“We have an away match today.” Ulquiorra said, idly flipping a page.

 “I have my own.” Kara frowned.

"No, you don’t.”

She made a face at her brother. “Yes, I do.” She said, drawing out each word longer than strictly necessary.

“Actually, you don’t.” she jumped, startled as a different, deeper voice cut in, much closer in proximity than she would have expected considering the nearly soundless arrival. “We might have grabbed your keys when we went out last night, and lost them somewhere on the fucking court.”

Grimmjow shrugged lazily, as both siblings turned to glare at the source of the interruption. “I only know this because he made me spend two fucking hours looking for them.”

"Jaegerjacques." She hissed, stepping stiffly away from where Grimmjow was casually leaning into her personal space.

"Kara." He said venomously, matching her tone, as he straightened. “Still a bitch, I see.”

"Give me those.” she said turning back to Ulquiorra, and snatched the keys out of his open palm. "I don't think I'll be sticking around. See you after."

Sparing a glance at Grimmjow as she walked off, she snarled, "You, on the other hand, I hope not."

 

* * *

 

As she stomped off, Ulquiorra finally closed the book, and turned a questioning glance at Grimmjow, who responded by plonking himself loudly into the seat across and banging his bright blue head viciously on the lunch table.

"Ow." He groaned.

Ulquiorra leveled a Very Unamused Look at the sulking idiot he deemed his closest friend. “Why are you like this?”

“She’s the one who started it.” Grimmjow growled, visibly pissed off. "All I have to do is breathe in her vicinity, and she loses it."

Ulquiorra scoffed. “You’re an idiot.”

Grimmjow just glowered at him. “Why the fuck am _I_ the idiot?”

Ulquiorra gave him a look that said, very clearly, that he was concerned that Grimmjow even needed to ask. “As a matter of curiosity, when _did_ this happen?” he asked, words unerringly enunciated even in his slow drawl.

"When did what happen, asshole?" Grimmjow grumbled, plucking Ulquiorra’s fork from the table for something to do with his hands, even as he muttered far more unflattering things about him under his breath

“Interesting;” Ulquiorra blinked, slowly. “You’re apparently blind to the fact that you’re in love with my little sister.”

Grimmjow swallowed, and averted his eyes, suddenly quiet; the fork that he had been bending out of shape, taking the brunt in a dramatic deformation.

“Or.” Ulquiorra provided, after an instant of silence. “You’re a bigger idiot than I thought.”

Grimmjow's tanned face flushed, "Shut the fuck up."

Ulquiorra propped his chin on his hand, and surveyed him seriously. “Then it’s true.”

Grimmjow seemed torn between the urges of hissing at him, hitting him or running as fast as his legs could take him. He was still unsettlingly silent.

“Careful, Kitten. Your tail is vibrating.” The black haired boy said softly, almost kindly.

Grimmjow gave in and hissed viciously. Ulquiorra's smirk only grew bigger.

“What are you going to do about it?”

Grimmjow gave him a very pointed look that implied he was completely batshit crazy "Absofuckinglutely nothing."

Ulquiorra raised both his eyebrows at him. “Time to answer the age-old question, Kit. What is wrong with you?”

"What's wrong with me? The _fuck_ is wrong with _you?_ Why the _fuck_ are you fucking pushing _this?"_ Grimmjow was visibly agitated now, hands going up to tug at his hair. “

Ulquiorra shrugged, unfazed. “Must be bored.”         

Grimmjow actually jolted to his feet, and leaned across the table to get up in his face and snarl. “Fuck. Off.”

Ulquiorra, honest to god, laughed. He’d obviously known Grimmjow too long.

Grimmjow just sagged in the face of the laughter “You're clearly not right in the fucking head, what does it even matter what you’re saying?

"Because, I'm right."

"Get your head out of your ass, Morticia Addams, this isn’t about you.” He huffed, crossing his arms jerkily.

Ulquiorra just waited, not reacting to the taunt, allowing Grimmjow the chance to collect his thoughts. He knew there’d be more.

Three.

Two.

One.

Then, “I'm the one she fucking treats like shit on her shoe, okay? Not fucking you."

"It's a matter of opinion." Ulquiorra’s voice was even steadier in contrast to the slight tremor in Grimmjow’s voice.

"She goes to great fucking lengths to make me feel unwelcome.” Grimmjow said, incredulously staring at him.

"Remind you of anyone else we know?” Ulquiorra asked, expectantly.

Grimmjow clenched his fists, and shook his head viciously as if trying to unhear his words.

"There’s more to it than you think. Try not being a complete piece of trash, and hear what she’s actually saying." Ulquiorra went on, calmly, ignoring his friend’s extreme reactions.

Grimmjow finally fixed pissed cyan eyes at him, looking completely done with the conversation. "If you're so fucking wise and amazingly not-full-of-shit, why don't you take your own advice and go talk to Inoue?"

Ulquiorra practically swallowed his own tongue in surprise.

Grimmjow smirked smugly, mouth still set in a hard line. "That's what I thought."

"You actually think?" Ulquiorra tried to turn the tables back on Grimmjow, but payback was glinting in those cat-like eyes, and he didn’t rise to the bait.

"I've seen the way you look at her, Alky Whora." He grinned, too sharply to not be cruel. “A once-blind man at the sun; what with that bright red hair, she is very radiant, isn’t she?”

Ulquiorra’s composure cracked, and he frowned, "Focus on your own obsessions."

"So you agree you obsess? How sweet." Grimmjow smiled, clearly settling into the groove.

“Your idiotic logic is of no concern of mine." He tried, mouth thinning.

"Why not? I’m right, after all. Why don't you just go talk to her? Try not to be a dickhead to her for once, you'll see; she’ll fall right into your fucking hands." Grimmjow threw a more vulgar version of Ulquiorra's own words back in his face.

"Don't be infantile." Ulquiorra’s voice was slowly rising in tempo, in pace with his growing temper.

"How's this then? If you ask Orihime out, then I'll talk to Kara.” Grimmjow began to grin, shoulders releasing some of their tension.

"I don't want any part in your petty games." Ulquiorra was trying futilely to shut out Grimmjow, muscle jumping in his cheek.

"What's the matter? You too chicken? Cluck-quiorra?" He taunted, tilting his head at him, relaxing further with every jibe that brought them onto less soul-searching footing.

"Piss off." Ulquiorra glared coldly, rising from his chair.

"Go ahead; put something worth risking on the table, Schiffer. Not big enough to take your own advice?" Grimmjow leaned in across the table, indolent feline grace in the stretch of his body.

"You are begging me to break your neck." Ulquiorra murmured, mirroring Grimmjow’s action.

"Go write an Aunt Agony column, and leave the death-threats to real men." The blue haired boy laughed now, an afterimage of how Ulquiorra had laughed less than ten minutes ago.

"Fuck you." Ulquiorra finally snapped, and closed his eyes immediately, trying to reel in his irritation.

"Tell you what, since you badly need a past-time other than pseudo death-threats that you can't act out on, I'll check on ‘Hime for you. If she agrees to go out with a pansy like you, I'll fucking ask your sister. Man enough to take me on?"

"Tch, whatever." Ulquiorra shot Grimmjow a dirty look, but challenge was set in those furious emerald eyes.

Grimmjow smirked. Game ON.

 

* * *

 

Kara splashed water on her face, and dug the heels of her hands furiously into her eyes; yet another brilliantly successful encounter with her brother’s best friend.

What the fuck was wrong with her?

Who was she kidding about hating him? She was so fucking in love with him that it was laughable; but somehow, every time they crossed paths, she managed to be such a bitch that she was surprised he hadn't throttled her. He was hardly known for his great restraint.

The worst part was, that Grimmjow hadn’t really stopped trying, no matter how much she iced him out. First it was confused glances and questions, then hurt silences, and now he finally responded to her vitriol with his own infamous temper and vulgar mouth.

He still hadn’t stopped.

It made a small part of her happy.

It _terrified_ her even more.

Truth be told, she just had no idea how to channel the awkwardness he induced in her, except by being horrible to him. She knew he thought she loathed him but he still tried to talk to her, to bring her back to how they used to be: Friends.

She shoved the bathroom door open with more aggression than needed, letting it swing violently shut behind her.

There was a time when they were close as could be. They fought like wild-cats but made up the next instant.

 Kara had no idea when and where that had changed.

Actually, she shouldn’t get into the habit of lying to herself... She knew exactly when it had changed.

 

* * *

_"Grimmjow, come on already, shoot!"_

_"You can't fucking rush perfection, Kara."_

_"It's like we're not even here." Ulquiorra muttered to Toushiro. "This is the last time you're on my team, Captain Kid."_

_"I didn't even want to play, Schiffer." Toushiro scowled, more so at the short snub. No matter how much of a growth spurt he had hit, these siblings just wouldn’t stop "Soccer's my thing, not basketball."_

_"I'm playing too, jackass. Stop hogging the ball." Kara yelled across the court._

_"Manners." Grimmjow joked easily, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet as he sprung lightly, basketting the ball easily from the three-point zone._

_She whooped as he pumped his fist in the air, and grinned as Grimmjow flipped Ulquiorra off. The two had a rivalry as deep as their friendship. And then she laughed as Grimmjow turned to her, jubilation clear in his beautiful teal eyes as he ran forward; and then... He hugged her._

 

* * *

 

That little innocuous moment had been the turning point. Six weeks ago, she had realized all too clearly, that 'friends' was no longer her definition for Grimmjow. She was in love with him and that changed everything.

He had held her, and it wasn’t particularly risqué, but her heart had either stopped beating, or jumped into her throat vacating her chest entirely. The feeling of his arms around her had been warm, and comfortingly like home; she hadn’t wanted to ever leave that circle.

Naturally, her panicky little animal brain had decided the best course of action was to run far far away, and shut him out entirely. Stop talking to him, and pretend he doesn’t exist and it’ll all go away.

Right.

Clearly one of her best ideas.

She began to shut him out, imperceptibly at first until it rose to mountaineous proportions. It had come to the point that she knew she was being a stupid brat, but she just couldn’t stop.

Kara just couldn't let him in, she didn't understand why but she just couldn't.

He tried talking to her about it, but she shot him down, over and over and over again. He gave up eventually, resorting to just anger.

Anger was easy, and she responded in kind. She couldn't remember the last time she called him by his first name. She was hopeless.

And now, their cold war was a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode.

She was shaken out of her reverie, by the odd sight greeting her at her lunch table.

Her best friend, Toushiro Hitsugaya, slumped, face hidden completely in Rangiku’s embrace and Hinamori Momo on the other side of him; the former patting his back and the latter, stroking his hair and surprisingly being allowed to do so.

"Toushiro?" She ground to a halt in startled shock, eyes wide.

Hurt looking sea-foam eyes met hers over Rangiku’s shoulder, "I got rejected."

* * *

* * *

 


	2. Mortification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying.

 

* * *

* * *

 

It was yet another day at this shithole masquerading as a school; ceaseless blabbering, horrid food, and stupidly pretty boys completely engrossed in conversations with their annoyingly hot best friends.

Of course, Karin _wasn’t_ looking at them enough to notice…

Karin grumbled something decidedly uncouth as Hitsugaya turned and caught her- ahem- _not-looking_. She whipped back quickly to face her sister and friend.

Yuzu snickered knowingly at the look on her face, and suddenly smiled widely, eyes tracking something over her shoulder.

Ururu didn’t so much blush as nearly disappear, and Karin warily eyed her companions, wondering if she should even ask.

"Karin.”

She turned fast enough to give herself whiplash. Shitfuck.

Toushiro Hitsugaya.

“Hi.” Karin said, mentally cringing.

“Hey… um.” Hitsugaya shifted slightly, looking uncomfortable. “Can I speak to you for a second?" he finally asked.

“Aren’t you already?” Karin sniped, characteristically irritated, and received twin kicks under the table from her friends.

What. The. Fuck. Was. Wrong. With. Her.

She completely blamed the endearment that she _did not feel_ at seeing Toushiro this close, and this obviously awkward.

It was _not cute._

_No. Shut up, you pathetic excuse for a brain._

Toushiro momentarily looked dismayed at her annoyed tone, long enough for Karin’s heart to twist in her chest, before he covered it up with his usual icy glare.

Ouch.  She exhaled, loudly before waving her hand almost glibly. "Yeah, okay? Go ahead."

What was she doing? She didn’t need to see Yuzu and Ururu to know they were aiming looks at her wondering the same damn thing.

Toushiro looked from Karin to Ururu to her sister, and then back to Karin. "Privately?" he asked, seeming a little disconcerted.

Karin rolled her eyes, masking her bleeding curiosity by folding her arms. As if by tightening them enough, she could contain it. "What on earth could you say to me that I wouldn’t tell my sister?"

Oddly, the boy blanched a little, shooting them another glance, and then obviously fidgeted; hand unconsciously finding the back of his neck.

Yuzuyu and Ururu exchanged glances and small smiles, getting up to leave. Karin unfolded her arms and grabbed hold of her twin's wrist. "Whatever you want to say, spit it out.”

Her words were coldly spoken and seemed to stop him short.

"It’s okay, Karin. We can go." Yuzuyu said in her quiet, gentle voice, smiling at the tense boy in front of them, even as she covertly pinched Karin’s hand.

"No." She rebutted them immediately. "Say what you want, Hitsugaya. I don't have all day." She didn't want to get her hopes up only to get disappointed by what was bound to be a soccer meet, so she refused to let him see she was interested.

She was too proud to let her heart be played like that.

Toushiro clenched his hands, and looked heavenward as if praying for something to meteor down and smite her.

She scowled at him, and pretended not to see Ururu and Yuzu exchange dismayed glances.

"Jeez.” He looked over wistfully at his table, and then turned back to her sharply.

She raised both her eyebrows, a little confused now.

He tugged at his collar and flushed slightly. “Jeez.” He repeated, and then almost as an afterthought, pitched low “Okay fine. Listen.”

She opened her mouth to say, she _was,_ except that he wasn’t saying anything, to have him raise a finger in the universal plea for one second.

Was he…?

He paused before saying, “Would you want to go watch a movie with me?”

Karin felt her eyes go wide. He really was asking her out? "Why?"

She mentally cringed. Out of all the responses…

One of Toushiro's eyebrows twitched upwards. “What do you mean _why_?” his voice was sharp. He visibly breathed in, as if seeming to realize how that sounded, before saying quickly in one exhale “I just want us to spend some time together.”

His words came out in a half-flustered, half-annoyed tone of voice; something that was a Toushiro Hitsugaya equivalent of utter embarrassment.

Karin was charmed, and she laughed.

He paled, green eyes standing out all the more, and she realized her mistake.

Now, Karin's eyes really were wide. Her mind was screaming in triumph and it was seriously messing up her thoughts. She scrambled for the words to accept without seeming too desperate.

Before she had quite decided what to say in reply, her mouth moved, seemingly of its own accord, "No." Her voice came out harsh and irritated.

Which _what??_

Hurt flashed across Toushiro's face for an instant. It was a raw, honest emotion but like every instant, it was fleeting, and it shattered into a blank calm.

Toushiro blinked and not trusting his tongue for words that wouldn't come, he turned abruptly and walked away.

Karin's hand covered her mouth. She was mortified.

_What on earth had she done?_

* * *

 

 

 “She, _what_?” Kara’s voice was so soft, so lethal, that Rangiku winced and held Toushiro tighter to her ample chest.

He struggled, and thumped her roughly on her back, jerking back a little. “Air.”

Rangiku smiled and loosened her grip, but couldn’t help the overflowing pity in her eyes that made Toushiro frown and detangle himself completely.

Kara, on the other hand, was seething. He didn’t know which was harder to face.

"Kara, stop. Whatever you're thinking, just _don’t_.” Toushiro finally said, after a couple minutes of her restless pacing. If his voice came out quieter than normal, neither of the girls commented.

"Oh _no_. No, no, no." Kara's eyes burnt like an emerald sun, slightly deranged with the intensity of her anger. Her hands were visibly shaking.

“Kara.” He leaned forward, and grabbed her hand. “ _Breathe_. It’s not the end of the world”

 She actually hissed her next words, but stilled at his familiar touch. “It’s the end of hers.”

Toushiro found himself pathetically grateful that his best friend hadn’t said her name. It would have splintered him. He hadn’t been kidding when he said it wasn’t the end of the world, but her little incredulous laugh had _hurt._

He wouldn’t admit it, but his friends didn’t really need him to.

“Kara, _please_.”

She shot him a sharp look which was the only indication that she had indeed heard him because the next words out of her mouth contradicted his plea, "I’m going to get her back for this.”

“For _what?_ Turning me down?” Toushiro snapped, eyes hard. “For fuck’s sake, she had _every_ right to say no.”

Kara looked like she was about to disagree, violently, but Rangiku placed a hand on her arm, and she seemed to think better of raising her voice.

“Let it go, Kara. She had no obligation to say yes.”

“You listen to _me_ , Shiro-” she started, vehement protest at her lips. “She definitely likes-“

“ _No._ ” he said, suddenly furious, interrupting her abruptly. “I am _done_ with this.”

For the second time that day, he strode off without looking back.

If he had, he might have gathered that Kara didn’t look at all convinced to drop the issue.

He might have realized the hard light in her eyes screamed vengeance.

* * *

 

Grimmjow was bored.

Apparently, telling an umpire to _fuck off,_ can get you carded near-instantly.

He wished that his team had had the grace to be surprised.

 Grimmjow yawned, surveying the crowd around him, searching for familiar faces in an attempt to alleviate this tedium. A substantial flash of red caught his eye, and he suddenly grinned.

Entertainment.

He sent a quick glance at his coach, and then the court; Ulquiorra was currently dribbling the ball somewhere towards the hoop, and the opposing team was trying fruitlessly to cut him off.

 _Chumps,_ he scoffed. The team didn’t really need him, and nor could he do anything at this time.

Might as well be amused.

Grimmjow shot up to his feet, and slunk out of the box as quietly as he could manage- which was pretty soundless when he set his mind to it.

It was no surprise Kurosaki and Inoue didn’t see him coming.

“I can’t believe you made me come to another one of these. Wasn’t Tatsuki available for this kind of ‘support’?” Ichigo grumbled. 

Inoue laughed, soft and melodious. Grimmjow made a face at the cuteness of the moment. “Tatsuki said she’d throw up if I made her come watch me…” she blushed and cut herself off.

Ichigo grumbled inaudibly, and then “Really though? _Him_? Does he even speak? Smile? _Not glare condescendingly??_ ”

Inoue blushed harder before she murmured, “He’s actually really kind.”

Grimmjow snorted really fucking loudly, and the red headed duo both jumped with an embarrassing scream a-piece.

“The fuck, Jaegerjacques.” Ichigo said, good naturedly enough for being snuck up on. “just say hello like normal people.”

“Kind?” he asked, grinning widely. “Ulquiorra?”

Inoue was easily red enough to rival the brightness of both their heads combined. Kurosaki looked from her to Grimmjow, then pointed a finger at him. “Don’t be a douchebag about this.”

“Me? Nah.” Grimmjow waved away his concern idly. “But seriously, kind?”

Inoue smiled a little, through her beacon of a face “Well, he has his own way of showing it.”

“More like shoving it down your throat.” Grimmjow muttered. “To each their own, I guess.”

Kurosaki gave him his standard confused look. “What are you on about?”

“Just wondering why Princess here likes Little Miss Sunshine over there. Unfuckingbelievable.”

Inoue pouted at him, and it was so ridiculously cute that Grimmjow wanted to throw himself off the roof. He huffed a great beleaguered sigh, and roughly ruffled her hair to Kurosaki’s protests. “Don’t worry, I won’t say a fucking word.”

“Really?” Orihime beamed, shyness seemingly forgotten.

“Why would I want to make it easy?” Grimmjow shrugged.

“You high, bro?” Ichigo asked, more than just incredulous now.

"Hm? I didn’t say anything." Grimmjow said swiftly, smiling very insincerely, and promptly, like any self-respecting feline would, he sauntered away, virtual tail firmly up in the air, as two very confused humans watched his departure.

In the end, his team won the match just as much as he did.

* * *

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im definitely altering more than i planned, mostly pacing and dialogue, but i like it better? (by a hell of a lot) but still not totally pleased. Next chapter should be up soon.
> 
> comments?


	3. Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It keeps on keeping on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might have gotten a little out of my hands... i was trying very hard to retain the old silly plot and just improve the quality of words but Toushiro decided to be logical and ask way too many questions. 
> 
> I hope this isn't entirely out of left field for y'all. I don't even know what i'm doing anymore, just writing as it comes to me.

* * *

* * *

Kara was waiting for him outside the door, and her face was a thundercloud. Toushiro took one look at her, and groaned. “No. No. For fuck’s sake whatever it is you’re planning, _no.”_

It would be immoral to call the slight uptick of her mouth a smile. It was the farthest thing from comforting he’d ever seen, and he’d been friends with her since they were in diapers.

“Just play along. That’s all I’m asking.” She said, lifting her hands as if to show him she was unarmed.

Like Kara had ever needed a weapon other than her vicious tongue.

“Kara. I am _tired_. I just want to forget this.” He sighed, exasperated, but mostly resigned. When she got like this, there really was no convincing her.

“Give me the next two days, really. If you don’t get proof-”

He cut her off with a shake of his head, “Do what you want, just don’t talk about it.” He sighed before adding, “And when this doesn’t work, I want no further discussions.”

Kara gave him a mostly unreadable look, but he saw the way her mouth tightened. She was still furious.

He was just… tired. “Deal?”

She nodded, curtly. Then like a whiteboard being wiped, her face cleared and she smiled widely and sidled closer.

Toushiro was very confused. “What is up with your face?” he asked, tactful like a hurtling truck.

Kara gave him another smile, and slipped her arm through his.

“What are you _doing_ , woman?” he asked more than a little bewildered now.

"Shut up, and stop acting like I'm molesting you." Kara said meanly, all through that eerily pleasant smile.

Toushiro shuddered, and glanced down at his arm, which she happened to be hanging on to. “You’re not usually this clingy…” 

“Aww, aren’t you two cute!” Rangiku suddenly squealed, straight into his ear. “Finally! I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for you two.”

He jumped back, dragging a still attached Kara with him. “The fuck is up with you two today? What about me and this Psychopathic _leech_?”

“Is that anyway to talk about your _girlfriend_?” Rangiku asked, innocently batting her eyes.

“My _what_?!”

 

* * *

 

 

Toushiro’s face was worth the entire insane race that followed. His voice had gone high enough to be inaudible to everything except bats, and then he had practically run off.

Kara felt kind of bad about his obvious distress. It had taken the two of them about ten minutes to find and calm him down enough to stop him.

After they had managed to stop laughing, of course.

“I don't know why you're so insistent on this. It's not going to work." He tried again, from his kind of defeated position, sitting on the courtyard planter with his head in his hands.

“You agreed to play along.” Kara reminded him. 

“Listen to her Shiro, what do you have to lose?” Rangiku spoke through an almost pout.

“My _dignity_?” he said, lifting his head long enough to deadpan.

"Shiiiro, just go with this. Worst scenario, she won’t care and we can break up amicably." Kara said, slightly bemused.

“Best case scenario, she thinks I’m an asshole who would date someone to get back at her?” Toushiro asked incredulously. “Or a _cheater_? How is this a _good_ idea?”

“Best case scenario, she realizes she fucked up.” Rangiku said face uncharacteristically hard.

 “And then _what_? She apologizes to me and we live _happily ever after_?? Really solid foundations for a relationship.” Toushiro looked at the girls he unironically thought of as sisters, with no small amount of disbelief. “Whatever crack you two are _on_ , is high quality shit. I hope you know that.”

“Toushiro.” Kara said, seriously, point blank with no sugar coating. “She _likes_ you, and she laughed you away. I want to make her feel as terrible as she made you feel.”

“For no good reason.” Rangiku added, unhelpfully.

“Yeah, thanks for the reminder.” Toushiro huffed in hurt frustration, looking up to the sky. “If you’re this sure, shouldn’t you be encouraging me to talk to her- which _no_ _fucking way-_ as opposed to this crazy scheme?”

Kara blinked as if it hadn’t occurred to her. “She hurt you, I want to hurt _her_. Where’s the hurt in that?”

Rangiku paused and looked at Kara for two long seconds, with something almost admiring in her gaze. “Remind me never to piss you off, Karie.”

Kara smiled back pleased.                        

Toushiro was stuck between horror, and pure disbelief. “You guys are shit friends.”

Rangiku laughed, and Kara just ignored him to scroll through her phone.

“So, what?” he asked, hating himself more than a little. “We pretend we’re together, and see if it affects her?”

Rangiku beamed at him proudly, “So you _do_ understand how girls’ minds work. Bless our growing boy.”

Toushiro gave her a very slow, judgmental look. “Then what?” he repeated, with a shake of his head.

“Then we break her.” Kara didn’t say as much as promise, as she finally looked up from her phone.

Rangiku put a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing “We get her jealous, which _proves_ she likes you, and make her realize you’re happy even without her, which hurts _her_ , and then we get her desperate enough to come to you.”

 “You do realize that I _like_ this girl, right?” Toushiro asked, lost.

“We know.” Rangiku smiled, and then surprisingly darkly “Paybacks a bitch, and so are we.”

 

* * *

 

Once Toushiro’s questionable morality had been set to rest, they went back towards class, arms once again linked.

"Do you secretly like me, Kara?" Toushiro grumbled. "You seem to be _enjoying_ this."

Kara turned to him, surprise evident in her eyes, and then she burst out laughing. She let go of his arm and grabbed her stomach. "Ahahahahaha." Her eyes were filling up with tears.

Toushiro's face heated up rapidly and he covered his mouth with his other hand. He looked annoyed and embarrassed at the same time, something so classically him, that it tickled Kara even more.

She was still having a laughing-fit right in the middle of the hallway.

What. The. Fuck. Had. He. Gotten. Himself. Into.

They were getting several weird stares and he could just about hear the gossip.

He grabbed her arm by the elbow and literally dragged his still chuckling bestfriend down the hallway. She seemed to have no intention of shutting up any time soon. "Kara!" His red face was gradually transforming towards crimson. "For God's sake. Shut up."

She clenched her mouth shut, tears trickling down her face "Mmmphhkkfftahahahahahahaha" and all of a sudden she was cracking up again.

People were now standing in groups and whispering.

“Okay, alright. _I’m sorry I asked_. Don’t be _more_ of a bitch, Kara.” Toushiro gave her an impressively annoyed red-faced glare. "I’m going." 

She wiped her tears of mirth away with one hand and tugged on his sleeve with the other. "You're, hahaha, going the wrong, haha, direction."

Toushiro was practically fuming with embarrassment "I had to get you away from civillization."

"Alright alright, I’m not laughing anymore." She was still desperately trying to stop.

He grabbed her hand and started walking, Kara getting pulled ahead with a sudden start that jerked her out of the laughter. "I'm sorry, okay, Toushiro? Um, you can let _go_ now."

He didn't answer, but she could see the back of his neck getting redder. Was that even possible? She snickered to herself, and as inspiration struck her, she walked faster, matching her pace to his. "Do you secretly like _me_ , Toushiro? Was all this just a plan to get to hold my hand?" She was still sniggering, mimicking him under her breath.

He wrinkled his nose at her, glowering. "Shut up. This was _your_ plan."

“Never asked you to hold my hand, that’s all _you,_ Shiro _baby_.” She sing-songed loudly.

"Shut _up_." He shot her a very horrified look, and ran his free hand over his face as a failing attempt for composure. "You're seriously fucking with my head." He sputtered, so only she could hear him.

"Come on, Shiro. Don't be like that. Are we seriously not even giving this a chance?" She skidded to a halt and he was pulled backwards by the force of her momentum. Her eyes were wide, pseudo-hurt, and she was being loud enough to be overhead.

Damn her.

His only recently cooled face flushed again. “No. You’re right. _Sorry_." He sighed.

She smiled beatifically and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, hand still in his. “Dinner tonight, then? Let’s figure this out.”

He nodded, and stepped back, letting their hands unclasp, as he honestly wondered why the hell he was stooping this low.

All for a girl who hadn’t even stopped to consider his request before laughing in his face.

A beautiful grey eyed girl who had crushed his heart.

Kara smiled as she walked away, snapping a small jaunty salute at him.

He smiled back, suddenly feeling small, and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. This was pointless, he knew it, but he wanted to lash out anyway. To salvage a little of his pride, and seem unaffected.

Wanted.

For all that he was denying it being a big deal, he knew just how much of him it had taken to finally ask Karin. In the back of his mind, he had honestly never thought he’d be turned down, and quite that brutally.

They were friends, or he had thought they were. They got along pretty well, and he had taken his sweet time in actually asking.

He’d assumed, in his heart that they would go out on a couple of dates, even if it didn’t go anywhere long term.

Had he read all those signals wrong?

Did she think he was a _joke_?

"What are you looking at?" He snapped at the gawking crowd. It was as if they had been waiting for dismissal, for they dispersed instantaneously.

He growled in his throat. Goodbye, reputation.

He sighed, a little dolefully, and hoisted his backpack’s straps higher on his shoulder. He should at least try to get to the class he hadn’t completely missed.

 So caught up was he in between irritation, and internal turmoil, that he didn't notice what Kara had, standing in the doorway not far from him: too-bright grey eyes, the stunned, conflicted face of Karin Kurosaki.

 

* * *

 

Toushiro dropped down in the seat next to Kara's as was usual, yet there were still hushed whispers.

He scowled, and she could see his temper worsening by the second, visibly incensed by the fact that he sat here every fucking day, but it was causing gossip _today_.

She didn’t really blame them. It was a small school in a small town, they didn’t really have much else to do; and they _had_ , for all appearances, been flirting the entire way down the hallway, smiling and holding hands.

People tended to take notice when the fabric of their everyday lives changed.

Toushiro turned his head to look at Kara who had her head on her desk. She gave him an amused look through her arms. His frown grew deeper. She mouthed "Sorry."

"No, you're not." He muttered.

“No, I’m not.”  She agreed, her smirk growing lopsided and she lifted her head up to look towards the front.

Her eyes sought out the dejected figure that was Karin, and felt a vicious stab of satisfaction.

She had seen, even if Toushiro had tried very hard to contain it, just how hard he’d taken it. Reserved as he was, when he opened up to someone and it was thrown back in his face, it stung. This had been a long time coming, and she kind of felt cheated that Karin had just upended the entire shebang in one callous reaction.

Torn Toushiro down with one laugh.

Bitch.

She wondered if going up to Karin and telling her that she had dared Shiro to ask her out would be unnecessarily cruel.

Probably, she decided, shelving the idea with a wistful thought.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out.

 **Ulquiorra** (10:03 AM):// _What are you **playing** at?_

So he had seen the spectacle in the hallway. She felt a small twinge of embarrassment, and immediately pocketed her phone without replying. To be honest, she hadn’t expected any of this to actually impact her real life.

Which in hindsight, was probably stupid of her.

She determinedly did not think of what Grimmjow thought of this whole new development. It didn’t matter.

It wasn’t like that anyway.

 

* * *

 

Karin was having an extraordinarily bad day.

She had fucked up with Toushiro yesterday, in such a way that she was unsure if even their friendship would survive.  He hadn’t even been able to look at her afterward.

She really did like him, and Yuzu had made her feel like complete shit in the sensible empathic way she had, later at home, by detailing how he must have felt when she had laughed and said no.

Hurt. Offended. Self-image shattered.

She hadn’t even meant to do it, and she didn’t know if his pride would even allow them what they formerly had had.

A camaraderie. A rapport. A friendship.

She didn’t even know why she had done it, but she had been so startled, half expecting him to say he was kidding, to say she misunderstood. But he had stood there, face slightly hopeful, completely sincere and she had laughed.

Karin cringed.

She had meant to apologize, today; at the very least clarify… but she had seen something new altogether.

Kara and Toushiro hand-in-hand; his face flushed with colour, hers set in a wide smile as they walked down the hallway. Softly exchanged banter, a back and forth so familiar, so relaxed, and yet awkward in the way all new things were.

She had asked if he wouldn’t give _them_ a chance. Him apologizing and agreeing that they should, and smiling after she had kissed his cheek.

She had saluted him as she walked off, and he had looked at her till she was out of sight.

It could have been platonic except for all the ways it obviously wasn’t.

Her heart sank straight through her Doc Martens, and fell far enough below that she imagined she could feel the burn of the earth’s core.

So close, yet so far.

She felt conflicted; knowing she should be happy that he wasn’t completely crushed, but feeling crushed herself that he wasn’t all that affected.

She sighed, and leaned heavily against the doorway that had been her vantage point.

Shit.

The worst was that Kara was beautiful; witty and smart, and in a sharp-edged way so comfortably herself that she was impossible to hate.

If they were deciding to figure out something between them, it was probably her fault it had come into focus. They knew each other well enough to know they weren’t misreading each other.

Like Toushiro probably thought he had with her, how they had seemed to _click._

Shit.

Kara and Toushiro would probably be one of those epic childhood sweetheart stories ten years later.

And it was all her own stupid fucking fault.

Her heart twisted as she forced herself to look away from Toushiro who was currently pinching his nose in what looked like disbelief, eyes falling to the floor.

Me too, Toushiro. She thought a little hysterically.

 _Shit._  

 

* * *

 

Grimmjow was miles away, quiet and withdrawn; so far in his head, he didn’t notice Ulquiorra approach, even in the steadily emptying classroom.

Ulquiorra felt an odd pang of guilt, as he sat down in the chair next to him, and Grimmjow startled.

“Hey.” He said, softly testing the waters.

Grimmjow gave him a long unreadable look, and then faced the freshly wiped board, sprawled out deceptively casually in his chair. "Is this some kind of sick joke, Ulquiorra?" his evenly spoken, profanity-free sentence was frankly unsettling.

So he had seen.

Whatever Kara was doing, Ulquiorra was willing to eat his sports uniform if he was wrong about how she felt about Grimmjow.

"I didn't know." Ulquiorra said seriously. "I don't think it’s what it seems, either." 

"What I can’t figure out is why you would encourage me to tell her, if she’s dating that midget.” Grimmjow continued, in that same eerily calm voice.

“They aren’t.” Ulquiorra said, quietly, wondering if it was a good idea to push him out of this calm into a maelstrom of anger.

"Stop _fucking_ messing with me.” Grimmjow’s eyes were bright, blazing with a hyperfocused anger, but his voice remained steady in volume.

“I wouldn’t.”  Ulquiorra reminded him, mouth twisting.

Grimmjow’s lip curled in a sneer. "Yeah, sure." He said, irony plain in still-balanced tone.

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said, trying to warn him against doing something stupid. This kind of calm in his usually temperamental friend usually ended badly.

Grimmjow didn’t respond, decidedly not looking at him. "Don't you worry about it, Schiffer." He said finally, very still for someone whose natural tendency was constant motion. “You should talk to Inoue, though. She’s interested.”

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said again, this time trying to find the words to say, as his too-unruffled friend got to his feet.

He finally turned, looking straight at him, and he could see the veneer crack just a little. “Leave me the fuck alone. I'm not in the fucking mood for a fucking pity party."  He didn't pause as he strolled away, expression surly and eyes furious in a blank face, leaving behind a somewhat guilt-stricken friend.

* * *

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments?


	4. Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It finally ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn.
> 
> This got so far away from me. I meant to be done with this thing with only minor changes, just slight improvements here and there but these boys refused to cooperate; Toushiro asked too many questions, and just refused to play along with the previous plot. Grimmjow just wanted to burn the world down. It took me ages to just figure out how to bring all the changes together and tie most of the loose ends. 
> 
> I'm still not quite satisfied with the pacing, feels a little unbelievable to me. But y'know what, that's fluff for you. I just wanted a happy ending for once 
> 
> Tooth rotting fluff, as much as i am capable of it, lies ahead. Proceed at own risk.

* * *

* * *

 

Grimmjow had gone completely off radar.

He was not responding to texts or calls and to be honest, Ulquiorra was concerned; especially since he was also skiving off school and practices, pissing off a lot of people.

He just hoped he wasn’t doing anything stupider.

Unfortunately, stupid was the perfect adjective for how he’d been acting of late; the week and a half that it had taken Ulquiorra to even walk up to Orihime Inoue.

The first day he managed to approach her, he was unable to find enough of his tongue to walk up and start a conversation, and when perchance their eyes met, he gave her kind questioning smile a cold stare in response and turned away.

The second, after an embarrassing ten minutes spent collecting what he was going to say, he had walked up to her in the hallway and opened his mouth to ask the question and had then instead called out to Kara who had conveniently been passing behind her.

* * *

 

 

The next few weeks had gone by deceptively quick for Kara.

It was surprisingly easy to fall into a routine with Toushiro as they faux-dated. They had been close friends all their life and already spent an inordinate amount of time together.

Dinner dates weren’t particularly odd, or at all different from how they’d always been; casual, easy, and comfortable.

The only difference, she guessed was how Karin had cut herself out of Toushiro’s life altogether. Kara could see just how much it bothered her oldest friend, though he had kept mum.

She felt a little guilty sometimes, she really had liked the brash Kurosaki girl before she had twisted her best friend up quite so much.

The other difference was the shit Ulquiorra had given her. He’d been surprisingly pissed at her, and she couldn’t really figure out why.

When she had finally told him why she was doing this, he had given her an almost disgusted look, and walked off. They hadn’t really talked since.

Grimmjow was notably absent too. Kara hadn’t seen him in a while and she didn’t know if it had to do with her weird falling out with her brother, or something else entirely.

She missed his needling at her, calling her out for her shit, even if it was never point blank about why they had stopped being them.

She missed him.

* * *

“Inoue.” Ulquiorra said, by way of greeting.

Orihime jumped a mile before turning, a little embarrassed. “Hi, Ulquiorra-san.”

“I was wondering…” he started, calmly, and then seemingly for no reason, stopped.

“Um?” she asked tentatively, still kindly polite, and fidgeted. 

"...If you had the trig assignment for today." Ulquiorra continued after a small pause.

 "Oh." Orihime couldn't help but be disappointed, Grimmjow's weird visit and knowing grin had seemed to be a prequel to something. She hadn’t really seen him since though.

Weird.

"Um, yes... It was the first few problems of the exercise..." she said, wondering absently how his hair was as shiny as it was dark.

Ulquiorra nodded, politely. "Thank you." he said, turning away.

Orihime sighed, before smiling it away. That's what she got for getting her hopes up; it was nice, that he had asked her though, it meant he at least knew she existed by way of her good grades.

She continued her walk to the cafeteria. The hallway was already empty so she hadn't expected anything to tap her shoulder which was exactly what happened; so, she reacted as any person would; she screamed a little and clutched her chest in terror.

Of all the things that may have approached her, she had not expected to see Ulquiorra there, looking ever so slightly awkward and embarrassed behind his usual poker face. Looking directly at a point to the left of her face, he said faintly "No, that wasn't it."

"Then?" She prompted gently, her smile growing back. 

"What I wanted to ask you was if you'd want to go out with me this Saturday." His words were clear, concise and unrushed.

She looked a little taken aback. "Really?"

"I see. You don't want to. It’s all right. I understand." He nodded again, beginning to turn away.

She laughed quietly and he stiffened assuming her to be laughing at him. "Ulquiorra-san, you didn’t let me answer. Where are you going?"

He gave her as confused a look as his composed expression would allow. "You turned me down, so I was going to leave." He said blankly.

Another small giggle escaped her.

He just looked at her, green eyes clearly asking her to explain herself. She stepped forward, slowly and deliberately, into his personal bubble and then touched his hand gently. His eyes widened a little at the unexpected contact and she grinned to herself, feeling disproportionally pleased at the cracking mask.

He looked embarrassed, and turned his face away, to the side. Was he feeling shy?

It was so cute, that her smile grew and she felt ridiculously charmed.

Ulquiorra looked surprised to see her expression when he finally chanced a look back at her. She wondered what he saw that made his mouth turn up a little, in reply, a tentative smile. “What time can I pick you up?” 

* * *

 

 

Grimmjow yawned widely, pointed teeth very visible. He stretched on the doorstep, turning slightly to glance at the front door, as if in hope that it’d have opened to welcome him back in.

He couldn't believe his own mother had shoved him out of the door. What was even the _problem_? It wasn't like he was bothering her, all he did was stay in his room, mostly asleep.

He hadn’t felt much in the mood to socialize.

He growled to himself, churlishly. If he didn't get to school that madwoman would give him hell to pay; she was too damn nosy to not check up on him, and too vengeful to cross by not going.

He had no fucking _luck_.

He ran a hand through his already messy cerulean hair and rubbed at his eyes. Damnit, he really was awake.

Groaning, he set out unenthusiastically towards the school building. Just fucking great. Now he'd have to put up with seeing _her_ with that fucking _shrimp_.

If only he had joined the soccer team instead of basketball, he mused, he could have accidentally bumped into him hard enough for him to break a bone or two... maybe crack a few ribs.

Accidentally rip him limb from limb? Nah, _probably_ too much.

Just a tad.

Was he still even in the team after having blown them off so often? His phone ringing had annoyed him enough that he had let it die; he had also managed to forget where he had left it.

He had been more than a little out of it, all things considered. He had been so close to just telling Kara…

Well. He hadn’t.

Small blessings, he figured.

Grimmjow wondered if his mother knew that pushing him out the door today had just increased his chances to get thrown in jail. He scoffed; if something happened, which was very probable if anyone as much as moved wrong in front of him, she'd have no right to blame him.

She would, anyway.

Besides, she probably knew that it was an inevitability that he’d push his non-existent luck too far one day, be a little too disrespectful and/or violent and land there regardless.

He kept walking, trying not to think about anything that would drive him to homicide.

Grimmjow pulled at the backpack slung over his left shoulder as he registered the school gates. He turned with familiar ease towards the back of the building, leaping neatly over the low wall, swerved to avoid Yamamoto's office and shot up the stairs before any teacher could catch him slinking around.

He stopped only once he was in front of the History classroom and then shamelessly poked his head in. "Permission to come in?" he drawled as respectlessly as he could manage.

Which honestly, was quite a lot.

"Ah Jaegerjacques. So nice of you to bless us with your godly presence. Pray, do come in. Don't deprive us any longer." Yorouichi gave him an eerily dangerous smile.

She was honestly great about dealing with him. She didn’t give very many shits.

He liked her.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He said, remaining unaffected by the heavy sarcasm, as he stepped inside.

The cat-like woman threw the duster at him which whacked him solidly on the head.

He reacted only by turning his head, enough for her to see him smirk.

He felt better than he had in weeks, as she made a sound that was remarkably hiss-like.

He kept walking, dropping into the vacant seat beside Ulquiorra and deposited his backpack under his desk carelessly. The pale boy raised an eyebrow at him clearly questioning his absence.

Grimmjow looked pointedly between him to Orihime on his other side and blatantly ignored the inquiry.

Ulquiorra made a face, which on anyone else would classify as a pout, but didn’t react otherwise.

Normally, Grimmjow would have attempted to needle Ulquiorra further; today, he boredly turned his face away and his eyes inadvertently sought out Kara.

He was being such a pissant.

He kind of despised himself for how torn up he was about her having a boyfriend ( _that fucking dwarf_ ). It wasn't really that surprising given how amazing she was.

He just wished he knew how and when everything had changed.

What he really hated was how easily she had turned away from him, and from their friendship. It was as if she had never known him, never cared to know him. He missed her, craved her company. She couldn't seem to care less.

Why had she started pushing him away? He had asked, hadn’t he? He had tried to figure it the fuck out. She hadn’t bothered to answer him, in person or his texts.

She’d only been a bitch to him since _whatever had happened_ had happened and in spite of it all, he was now fucking sure he loved her.

He wondered what it said about him that he only wanted her more. He couldn't even get her out of his fucking head.

Just to keep her eyes on him, he’d started being a bitch back. When his words got to her, when her emerald eyes flashed in cold fury, he felt something akin to triumph that he could affect her.

That she wasn’t indifferent.

Not entirely.

That wasn’t really true anymore, was it?

He looked away from Kara, albeit reluctantly. He was surprised she hadn't felt his gaze boring holes into her head. He certainly felt like by all rights she should have.

Her eyes weren’t on him.

Had they _ever_ been?

He roughly ran both hands through his ever messy hair and fisted it, closing his eyes. He felt like fucking tearing it out suddenly.

He was furious again, and he was even more fucking miserable.

Fuck it all to hell.

* * *

 

Kara's eyes shifted from the window she was staring out of, towards the boy she hadn't seen in several days.

Her gaze softened as she saw him running his hands through his thick, disheveled hair. It was a trait she found so endearing.

She smiled a small, sad smile to herself, lowering her gaze to his face. She took in his strong jaw and somewhat tan skin. His jaw was taut; a hard tension visible in the sharp lines of his face.

His beautiful eyes were closed.

She sighed softly. She wanted him so badly but she just couldn't give find it in her to give someone the necessary proximity to hurt her.

If they weren’t close, they couldn’t get to you, could they?

She let herself dwell, uninterested in her surroundings, to think about what had defined her; what made her this way; a scared, little girl unwilling to let people close.

It was by and large one thing:

She had lost both her parents simultaneously, at the young age of seven.

She had barely understood when their uncle had broken the news of their demise to the siblings. Ulquiorra had yelled at his uncle; in hysterics he had told him he was a liar and asked him to leave him alone. It was the first time, and the last, that she had seen her brother so upset.

She had looked on blankly. She didn't react, she didn't move. She just watched and watched as their uncle had pulled Ulquiorra close to him, in a comforting hug. He had struggled for freedom before acknowledging his uncle's strength and succumbing to his tears.

She had never seen Ulquiorra cry before.

She had blinked and thought how Uncle looked so much like father... Something had blurred her vision then and she absently realized it to be tears.

Why was she crying?

Why did she feel like her world was being torn apart?

Her aunt had knelt before her, touching the side of her face telling her that it would be alright. She had called her sweetheart... Only mom called her that, only her mom could.

Anger had swirled in her head and in front of her vision, a reddish haze, but she hadn't been able to express it. She just looked on, not shifting.

Her aunt had turned, panicked, towards her uncle saying that Kara was in shock. Kara was her name, she registered that, but she didn't speak. She couldn't find the strength to, and then she remembered black tinting the edges of her sight before overcoming it completely.

Kara shuddered. She'd never forget that day, no matter how much time passed; how much the rest of the events that followed it blurred in her mind. She blinked away her tears furiously and clenched her jaw.

The pain had lessened over time but it was by no means gone. It returned, raw and aching whenever she recalled something about her parents, about her past life, of innocence and easier, happier times.

Ulquiorra had become stronger for her sake, he never let anyone see him upset, after that one breakdown. He had become her strength and she couldn't let go of her need for him. She wasn't strong enough to lose anyone else but Ulquiorra had not let her distance herself from him. Every time she had tried he had brought her back to him, again and again.

He had probably kept her sane.

He had prevented her from pushing her friends away. Toushiro had been her friend from kindergarten and Ulquiorra had convinced her to trust him again but it had taken a lot of time and effort and she was always thankful that he had not given up on her. That was one of the reasons why she was so fiercely protective of him.

Grimmjow was an entirely different story. Her brother’s best friend, he had helped his brother through the most difficult time of his life and somehow had managed to creep up on her. She had never understood the ease with which she had let him into her damaged heart, but she had.

He was just there, every single day, and then he was there in her heart and mind, even when he wasn’t.

He was growing to be the most important friend to her, so she had naturally shied away when she realized exactly how much she depended on him to stay, how much he actually meant to her.

It would have destroyed her to see him leave, so she had pushed him away herself. She couldn't let what they had between them grow. If she lost him, she'd never be able to live with herself.

But she had lost him anyway... hadn’t she?

Through her own stupid stubbornness.

Because of her own fucking stupidity.

Thanks to her irrational fear of losing something she knew as part of family.

Because she was a foolishly obstinate bitch.

 If it hurt so much to lose a parent, how much more would it hurt to lose your heart?

She couldn’t see him staying, especially if he knew her like she knew herself and her demons.

Another sigh escaped her lips. Her throat was painfully dry and the lump in her throat was obstructing her from swallowing.

She glanced again towards Grimmjow wistfully, knowing he deserved better than someone as irreparably ruined as her, but the thought pained her.

She looked away hastily as the bell rang, angrily willing the tears away from her eyes. She shot a glance towards Toushiro who was only just stirring from his seat... She couldn't face him right now.

She didn’t have it in her to pretend.

She quickly gathered her books and rapidly fled out of the room without waiting for her 'boyfriend'.

She felt volatile, too big for her skin to contain. Too jittery to be touched without shattering.

She did not want to put up any acts anymore.

It reminded her too much of what she wanted with someone else.

_Of how much she wanted._

Right now, she would be content if everyone just left her _alone_. 

* * *

 

Toushiro put his arm around Kara, knowing she'd react as she always did; by stiffening.

This was new, seeming to come with the territory of their pretend relationship.

Her face was unusually pale and she looked so upset that he wanted to hold her and cheer her up.

He normally would be allowed to, but with _this_ their boundaries had shifted, physically appearing closer but mentally she was pushing away from even the act of being in a relationship.

She was his oldest friend. She was practically his sister and he hated that he was causing her this discomfort; this isolation.

He looked down at her worriedly. "Are you alright?"

She got a certain way about space, both physical and mental, sometimes, and he squinted, wondering if it was that now.  

"I'm fine." she smiled weakly but her eyes were miles away. She looked sick.

"Are you sure?" He was really concerned. This past week she had pushed herself to the limit of annoying cheerfulness, all to get back at Karin.

He hadn't approved but he had been swept along, unable to resist her scheming.

He should have known it would take its toll on her, eventually. "You can tell me what’s wrong,”

"I know." She sighed softly. "I'm perfectly alright." She was utterly unconvincing and she knew it. She just couldn't muster the strength to do anything about it.

Toushiro's eyes hardened slightly. This charade needed to stop. Karin didn't want him, big fucking deal. He’d get over it one day. He just didn’t want this to hurt Kara anymore. He just needed to do one last thing and then it would be the end of this drama.

He knew better than anyone what exactly Kara had been through to make her the closed up person she was now… so unwilling to let anyone in. She didn't seem to see that opening up was exactly what she needed to help her through this.

His thoughts wandered to Grimmjow Jaegerjacques. He remembered a time he was extremely jealous of how quickly Grimmjow and Kara had become the best of friends because Toushiro had remembered the struggle it was for her to let _him_ back in after the gruesome accident that had claimed her parents' lives.

He had hated their closeness, wanting his sister/friend to himself. He always kept an eye on them to make sure that boy did not do anything to hurt his best friend, so he had seen exactly where it was that Grimmjow's intention towards Kara had changed.

It was as if she was the sun and he the planet, gravitating towards her like a pin to a magnet. He flushed faintly red when she smiled or when she sat too close. He always took her side, always got on her team and always put her first.

First he had seemed confused, then embarrassed, and finally resigned.

It had gone on for a few years and it seemed Grimmjow did not have any plan to change their current safe friendship with something more risky.

It was clear he wanted to, but he didn't dare make a step that would drive Kara away... but feelings have a way of showing up when you least expect them to, and his had erupted in a jubilant hug after a game won and her stunned, terrified expression had told the ever-observing Toushiro that she too had felt the crack in their friendship, enticing her towards something fresh and like a startled rabbit she had skittered away from the new and the unknown.

He probably shouldn’t have let her push Grimmjow away for weeks before making her face it. He hadn’t noticed immediately, to be fair, but when he had he should have dragged her to this conversation earlier, but Kara was extraordinarily stubborn when she wanted to be.

He sighed and she looked at him sideways. "What?"

Toushiro turned towards her, a cerulean flash catching his attention in his periphery. "Nothing." he said focusing towards it.

Think of the devil.

An idea struck him out of the blue and turning his attention back to Kara, he said "How about we skip this one?" 

"Hm?" She looked surprised.

"I've got something I need to show you." Toushiro gave her an impish smile, unable to help a small cursory glance towards his target. His face was a storm; unsettling and turbulent with emotion.

Kara didn’t really have the energy to resist so she gave a faux-knowing smile and said "Sure."

He smiled at how willingly she played along despite knowing nothing.

Another swift glance behind him confirmed that Grimmjow had indeed overheard them.

Good.

 He would definitely follow them, even to the ends of the earth, as if his life depended on it. 

Toushiro grabbed her hand and led her away from the hallway towards the back of the building, stopping only once they reached. Somewhat out of breath, he knelt over his knees.

"What is this about, Toushiro?" Kara asked curiously.

He pulled her into an abrupt, tight hug and held her extremely close.

"H-hey. What are you doing?" Kara asked, struggling to get free.

"Its okay, Kara. No one’s around." He said, pulling back slightly and leaning close.

Too close.

He saw the alarm in her eyes and disregarding it completely with a small apology in his heart, he kissed her cheek, far too close to the edge of her mouth. She stilled immediately, eyes wide in shock.

Toushiro spared a glance towards his victim and the mixture of anger and misery there confirmed that he had seen.

Grimmjow's mouth formed a rapid series of words, readily recognizable as expletives, and he turned to leave. His posture showed how he felt clearer than any words could have: shoulders slumped, clenched hands shoved furiously in pockets; jaw tight, eyes despairing.

Unbeknownst to Grimmjow, he had left just in time for Toushiro's little scheme to remain effective because Kara's reeling senses had caught up to her and she shoved Toushiro away hard.

"N-no!" her voice was vehement but it shook. "What the fuck are you doing? You can’t like me like that. You're as good as my brother." She panted, eyes wide with anger and fear.

Toushiro's gaze softened. "I don't. This was just a thank you."

"Well, I don't want any such thankyous!" She was still shaking.

He extricated himself from her and put a hand on her shoulder. "It was the last act of this scene. Grimmjow'll come around."

"What?" she paled, eyes and mouth still set in anger.

"Kara, you have to let him back in. You know it just as well as I do."

"I can't." she said looking away, ire deflating.

"You _can_. You're stronger than this.” He said sharply

She only gave him a pointed look that told him how little she appreciated his tone.

He gentled his voice instantly. “I'm not saying it’s going to be easy, but it will _help_ in the long run."

"“I can’t lose him too.” In response, her voice was also soft. The sentiment behind it was easy enough to pick up. _What if it just tears me apart?_

“Kara, you’re not exactly happy right _now_ , with where you are with him.” He smiled sadly.  “Life is too short, and change is inevitable. You _know_ this."

He let the words sit, saw the way her shoulders dropped, before he added gentler still “He hasn’t left yet, and you’ve known him long enough that he’ll always be a part of you.”

"Toushiro." To his surprise, and horror, her eyes were wet; the soft way she said his name, feeling like gratitude and love.

He reached out to give her a tentative hug. She accepted it and he felt her exhale and then pull away.

She gave him a much stronger smile, insecurity fading. "Thank you for being a pain in the ass." she joked 

Relieved, he just nodded and gave a small grin. "Do you realized how fucked up we are, that we’re willing to do anything but _talk_ about our feelings?"

She snorted in amusement and the smile she gave next was genuine and sincere. "Fuck feelings."

He grinned at her, and the look in her eyes conveyed her gratitude better than words would.

“For the record, I dumped _you.”_ He added, unable to help himself

Kara scoffed, but her eyes were relieved. “You wish, Small Fry.”

* * *

 

It shouldn’t have surprised Toushiro, seeing Karin at the practice, but it kind of hit him like a sledgehammer anyway. All the mortification of that moment rushed back to him, and he kind of wanted to curl up in himself under a pillow-fort, never to be seen again.

He sighed, at the sudden desperate direction his thoughts had taken. She was the girls’ team captain, he would have to interact with her, and not be a wimp about it.

He forced himself to keep walking towards the teams, and when Karin looked over at him, slightly awkward, he only nodded at her and kept moving.

He didn’t see how she sagged a little, face falling.

He forced himself to be just as composed, and pitiless a captain as he always was.

He forced himself not to remember that slight catch of sound, that fateful bark of laughter, and the way it had twisted his heart forcefully enough that his ears had started to ring.

He stopped at the goal, and looked back at his half of the field, where a couple of the guys were kicking the ball back and forth, warming up.

He hated himself a little for the quick glance he couldn’t help shooting at Karin.

No. No. _Nope_.

He forced himself not to remember how beautiful he’d found that little laugh until the connotation had caught up to him.

He was caught up enough in the not-remembering that he didn’t see the soccer ball until it slammed into his stomach with the subtle force of a freight train.

 

* * *

 

 Karin watched from her place halfway across the field, rooted in horror, as a stray soccer ball plowed into an uncharacteristically distracted Toushiro.

 It knocked him back hard enough that he rebounded off the goalpost.

_The more-metal-than-Iron-Maiden goalpost_

“Toushiro!” she screamed, and ran to the guys’ side of the field.

She would realize later that luckily for her, she wasn’t the only one, so it didn’t stick out quite as much. At that instant, though she couldn’t give less of a flying fuck.

On his hands and knees, he was visibly struggling to find the air to breathe.

“Move!” a sharply snarled order that was startlingly in her own voice. “Shiro, can you hear me?”

He made a sound that was an amalgam of a groan and a wheeze.

She kneeled on the ground beside him, hand hovering over his shoulder, as she jerked her head back at the closest teammate.

Hisagi’s face was a little pale and very serious as he took in his heaving captain. “Should I fetch the medic?” he asked her, quietly.

“ _No_.” Toushiro ground out from his unenviable place on the floor. He gasped in another breath.  “No. Just help me up.”

The second their hands made contact with his back, he blanched

“Fuck.” The oath was hissed sharply, and Karin immediately looked to him in concern. She didn’t consider how close their faces had to have been for her to have an arm around him.

He turned back to look at her, and stilled; eyes darting between hers before he looked away, face flushed around his nose.

Hisagi cleared his throat subtly, and Toushiro wasn’t the only one blushing.

She coughed, and grabbed his arm instead. “How about you use us as crutches to stand, and we see how bad this is?”

Toushiro nodded a little, wincing at the pull, leaning heavily on them as he managed to get his feet under him.  He straightened with a little more force than necessary, and tried to keep the flinch off his face.

Karin frowned, eyebrows furrowing. “Come on, lets get you to the bleachers.”

Toushiro swallowed, as his eyes darted back to her hands on his arm. “I can make it, thanks.”

She just gave him a very even look and stepped back, removing her support. She tried not to feel a vindictive satisfaction when he staggered a little.

She failed in hiding her smirk when Hisagi snorted.

 “Okay Chief, how about you and KK over here go take a breather, I don’t think you’ll be playing today.” Hisagi said, shrugging casually. “We’ll just go over the plays’ a couple of times.”

 Karin was torn between wanting him to leave, and not.

 Toushiro sighed, evidently realizing that he would need to swallow his pride, and nodded.

Karin slipped a little closer, and put her arm carefully around his waist, avoiding the part where she supposed the injury was. “Okay?” she asked, and hated how softly her voice came out.

His face was scarily unreadable, as he looked at her for a few long seconds, before putting an arm around her shoulder in return.

“Okay, team. Take ten. I’ll be back.” She called over her shoulder, and tried not to think of how good the boy smelled.

* * *

 

It was slow progress across the field, and Toushiro felt bad for the way he was leaning on the significantly smaller girl.

Karin was firm as a rock though, warm at his side and unwavering in her support, despite him easily outweighing her and then some.

It was also one of the most awkward experiences of his life; Toushiro pretending he wasn’t sneaking glances, and Karin pretending she wasn’t struggling to remain calm and unbothered.

They both breathed out twin sighs of relief when they were finally within reach of the spectator stands, and then both flushed embarrassed as she lowered him as gently as possible to the seat.

When Karin pulled back, her face was far too close to his, and Toushiro couldn’t help the way his gaze flickered to her mouth.

Her face flooded with colour, and they both just froze, scant inches apart.

She breathed out sharply, and it hit his face, and it was like his inhibitions melted with the warm puff of air. He slowly began to lean forward, and her eyes drifted shut, as she tilted in too; their lips brushed almost like a whisper, soft and almost imagined.

He leaned a little further in, and their mouths were firmer as they met again, and then he was hissing sharply against her lips as his injury was jostled.

And just like that, the spell broke. They jerked away from each other, and it was only the last measure of his will that kept Toushiro from howling, both from the pain and the separation.

Her eyes were wide, and horrified. He was sure his face wasn’t much different.

He opened his mouth, a desperate gambit to explain, but was beaten to it.

“ _What the fuck_?!”

* * *

 

Karin didn’t know what to do, what to say, as she stared horrorstruck.

Toushiro looked back, red-faced, searching frantically for words.

Here was the boy she liked- so much- kissing her, and looking at her like she was something special, when everyone knew he was very much dating someone else.

Kara.

He opened his mouth to say something, and her blood ran cold.

She didn’t want to hear an apology, or an excuse.

She didn’t want to hear him express regret.

She pretty much welcomed the interruption with open arms, when a furious voice cut in.

“ _What the fuck?!_ ”

Toushiro paled from his position, half splayed across the bleacher.

She didn’t really blame him, she too wanted to cower from the sight that was a very menacing, very angry Grimmjow Jaegerjacques.

His face was a thundercloud, dark with rage, bright eyes glinting sharp and deadly.

“Grimmjow…” Toushiro’s voice, when he found it, was admirably level.

“You little _fuck_.” Grimmjow took a threatening step forward, almost unconsciously, hands clenched tightly at his sides. “How _dare_ you?”

Toushiro raised his hands slowly in front of him. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Suddenly all Karin could see was red; he asked her out, and then got with –an impossibly perfect- someone else the next instant, and then kissed her (never mind that she had kissed back); and after all that had the audacity to say it _wasn’t_ like that.

She was just as surprised as the other two when she took a sudden step towards Toushiro and slapped him across the face.

 _Hard_.

His face swung sideways from the force. He didn't turn back to look at her.

The moment kind of froze.

Grimmjow stilled, and his tense shoulders dropped a fraction. Toushiro was looking at the ground, completely immobile. She held her hand half in shock, half in surprised pain at the stinging.

Slowly, Toushiro lifted his head, and turned to look at them. His face was set in a terrifyingly calm anger, and his eyes were arctic cold.

Once again, her heart plummeted like an iron weight into oceanic depths.

Grimmjow snarled, suddenly and she honestly didn’t know what she’d have done if he had launched himself at Toushiro as his body language was screaming.

Luckily, she didn’t have to find out. As Grimmjow practically sprang forward, he was stopped by Hisagi and Ulquiorra, who grabbed him by an arm each and shoved him backwards.

He struggled and thrashed, almost out of his head with fury, when Ulquiorra sharply but quietly snapped a few words at him.

Grimmjow stilled, like a frenzied dog brought to heel at his owner’s whistle. The sudden change was eerie.

Hisagi warily kept his hold on him till Grimmjow roughly shoved him away. The heated look he gave Toushiro and Karin as he turned to leave, by all standards should have set them ablaze.

She shuddered in a breath feeling very torn.

What was she supposed to do?

Ulquiorra lingered only a few seconds longer than Grimmjow, giving Toushiro a very piercing look that seemed to chastise him. There were no words exchanged, in what by ordinary circumstances would have been a full blown fight.

She only felt her confusion grow.

Toushiro straightened, sitting up with a poorly concealed wince. His eyes were still very cold, although a little less focused, and she could see his reddened cheek blaring almost beacon like. He struggled quietly to his feet, all without once looking at her, and she felt her heart twist.

It felt like an end.

“Wait.” She said.

He paused, as if deliberating, before he turned to her. He didn’t speak, but his face was wary, carefully empty.

“What’s _happening_?” her tone was almost pleading, and she couldn’t find herself enough to care; not with the way his viridian eyes were on her, measuring and unreadable.

He was looking at her like she was a stranger; like he couldn’t decide if she was worth speaking to.

It hurt; but when he finally met her eyes, she could see her shuttered pain echoed in his.

He nodded, almost to himself, before he exhaled. “I apologize. I seem to be extraordinarily dense when it comes to you.”

She made an involuntary confused sound. “I don’t _understand_.”

Toushiro’s eyes blazed for an instant, before he clenched his hands tight, and clamped down on the anger. “I mean, it’s obvious that you don’t like me. You couldn’t have been clearer when you _laughed_ me away.”

Her heart sank anew.

He continued, almost as if he couldn’t stop now that he had begun, “If that wasn’t mortifying enough, my best friend, arguably my _sister,_ decided to pretend we were dating just so I could save some face; not be the twisted up _loser_ who was moping over a girl he thought liked him enough to- to…” he forcefully ground himself to a halt, hand twisting almost viciously into the back of his neck, and his mask splintered; clean, wide breaks revealing tired, miserable eyes.

“Toushiro…” she trailed off, suddenly feeling very small.

He lifted a weary hand, to cut her off, “Please don’t. I don’t want your _pity_. I don’t know what I thought.” His voice was cold, directed inwards.

“I do like you.” She said miserably, her voice almost inaudible.

He looked at her with a sudden spike in anger, and it wasn’t cold so much as insulted. “ _Don’t_.”

Karin stepped forward, and placed her hand lightly on his shoulder. He stiffened but didn’t shake her hand off, which she took as permission to continue.

“I really do like you; I never meant to laugh.” She said softly, quietly, as if raising her voice would chase him away. “I was just startled and honestly, a little overwhelmed, and you were walking away before I got my head together.”

“You were cruel.” His voice was equally muted, as if it pained him to even say it.

 _“So were you.”_ She returned sharply and then grimaced, as if realizing how childish a justification that was. “That came out wrong; but you never gave me a chance to _fix_ _it_. You were with Kara before I could blink. It was _belittling_.”

Toushiro looked at her, mouth thinning a little. “I’m not going to apologize for trying to salvage my dignity.”

Karin made a face at him. “I’m not asking for an apology; I’m just telling you how it made me feel- and beyond that, I’m asking for another chance.”

Toushiro looked at her through guarded eyes long enough that she felt uncomfortable.

Karin forced all the sincerity she could into her expression, raising the hand not on his shoulder slowly, to touch the side of his face, whisper-soft.

He closed his eyes, and leaned into her touch.

She smiled, and stepped marginally closer.

He leaned down to touch his forehead to hers, and opened his eyes.

It felt like a welcome.

She twined her arms around his neck, and her heart settled, slotting into place like coming home.

* * *

 

Kara sighed as she ran a towel through her rapidly drying hair.

She couldn't help but be a little worried about Toushiro. The little fucker had a practice with the girl that had him ass over heels, and he would internalize till he exploded.

Probably sooner, than later.

 **Kara** (4:03 PM):// _You okay, Bilbo Baggins?_

She wondered if their brief stint at _dating_ had humbled the Kurosaki girl a little. If it had worked.

She felt a little bad she hadn’t managed to go all the way through with it.

Her phone vibrated and discarding the towel she pulled it out of her jeans.

 **Toushiro** (4:06 PM):// _Fuck you, I’m not a hobbit._

She grinned to herself. He was okay.

 **Toushiro** (4:07 PM):// _I’m okay. Your shitty plan kind of worked._

 **Toushiro** (4:09 PM):// _I nearly got beat up for my trouble though. Thanks for that._

 **Toushiro** (4:10 PM):// _Worst EX girlfriend ever._

 **Kara** (4:11 PM):// _Your FACE was the worst girlfriend ever._

 **Toushiro** (4:12 PM):// _You suck._

 **Toushiro** (4:13 PM):// _You suck, but I have a date._

 **Kara** (4:14 PM):// _You’re welcome._ -.-

 **Toushiro** (4:15 PM):// _I’ll thank you if I get out of this alive._

 **Kara** (4:15 PM):// _I repeat. You’re welcome, ungrateful brat. You may thank me by paying me  
                                    massive sums of money._

 **Kara** (4:16 PM):// _Your firstborn child will also suffice._

She got a series of side-eye emojis for her efforts. She grinned and chucked her phone unceremoniously on her bed as she walked down the stairs to the living-room.

Having skipped what remained of the last period and bunking off shool altogether, she wasn't surprised at having reached home before Ulquiorra.

Deciding to have lunch when he got back, she abandoned the kitchen and flung herself down on the floor cushions and flicked on the flatscreen. She heard the door click open and then slam closed. "Which one of us is cooking, Ulquiorra?" She asked, without looking back.

There was no answer so she turned, prepared to ask him if he still wasn’t over his inexplicable hissy fit, and immediately froze.

"Ulquiorra's not here, Jaegerjacques." She bit out, even as she mentally face-palmed for her knee-jerk reaction of being bitchy.

"I know." His face was a little disturbed as he walked over to where she was sitting, but remained standing.

"Then why…"

"Why am I here?" He interjected bitterly. "I'm here to talk to _you_."

"I'm not interested. Let yourself _out_." She got up and turned away, mentally cursing herself for her inability to hold a civil conversation with Grimmjow.

He grabbed her wrist, hard, and turned her to face him. "Why the _fuck_ are you always like this to me?" He growled in frustration. "What did I _do_ to make you hate _me?_ "

'I messed it up Grimmjow.' she thought to herself, and like the coward she was, didn’t make eye contact.

Grimmjow growled again as he realized she wasn't even looking at him as he spoke. He used his free hand to forcefully turn her face towards him. " _Fucking look at me_!"

His grip on her jaw hurt. She struggled against it, trying to turn away again. "You're hurting me." She said, punctuating her words with a little shove of her free hand.

"And you are hurting _me_." His voice cracked in the middle, and she stopped struggling as he quietened.

She forgot sometimes, that she wasn't the only one who cared... She looked at him, taking his tense face in. It was obvious that he wasn’t talking about her physically pushing at him.

"Alright, I'm listening."

His grip on her jaw loosened a little but he didn't let go. The tension on his face escalated, brows contracting, mouth twisting in fascinating waves of movement, before he finally mustered enough of himself to say "I think your boyfriend is cheating on you."

Her disinterest was not feigned this time, as she said "Is that so?"

His gaze flickered down to her lips, as if only just realizing their proximity. He raised it back to her eyes, with some strain, as he replied. "I know you don’t want to hear this, but I swear it’s true. I _saw_ him.”

"How fascinating." She drawled, more interested in the way his lips moved than what he was saying.

To be honest, her “relationship” with Toushiro was the last thing she wanted to talk to Grimmjow about.

To be honest, she didn’t really even want to _talk_.

"Fucking great." Grimmjow muttered. His grip on her tightened again as his voice rose sharply. "Why do you fucking hate me so much?"

"Is he really cheating on me?" She could barely comprehend what he was saying; what she was saying.

All she could think of was how much she wanted to kiss him.

All she was fixated on was him.

He nodded, clearly a little taken aback; his eyes, always so expressive, seemed both relieved and disappointed by her sudden subject change.

Her heart, however, was too busy recognizing the glorious opportunity presented to it and taking reign over her brain, it prompted her tongue with no effort from Kara, and said. "Well, then maybe I'll cheat on him too." Her gaze was still on his mouth.

And he was so close.

* * *

 

Grimmjow's eyes widened.

That conversation had changed tacks quickly. He was thrown off, feeling as if he didn’t quite understand the situation, but his mind was quick to sign off and shut down.

The persistently fragile supports of his self-control and impulse were splintering fast into nothingness.

Especially with Kara closer than she’d ever been.

Her eyes were firmly on him, and he felt something in his chest unclench.

Her eyes were on him.

He let go of her wrist and used both his hands to cup her face.

Restraint thrown to the tempest in his heart, he kissed her firmly, perhaps a little roughly, and was surprised as she responded instantly; one of her hands sliding up his neck and the other tangling in his hair.

There was blinding white behind his eyelids, most likely his brain cells imploding, as he reluctantly pulled back a little, to look at her.

This time, she closed the distance between them.

If gravity was to fail right now, he doubted he would notice. He was grounded in the sensation of touch; the places they met; the slide of her lips on his, the fleeting brush of tongue, his arms around her waist, her hands firmly tangled and tugging in his hair.

He breathed in against her lips, a harsh, much needed gasp of air, and the slightest tremor rocked through her.

He opened his eyes to look at her, eyes closed, lips swelling, and just like that he remembered, and his senses snapped back in.

 _Fuck_.

Shaking a little, he leaned back, his entire existence screaming at him for his stupidity.

"Wait." He said as she made to lean in again. Eyes half closed, and brimming with disinclination, she stopped; she was breathing hard and he was so _fucking stupid_ to be doing this.

He knew that it was highly unfuckinglikely he'd ever get this chance like this again… Stupid fucking _morals_.

"I can't be the one you cheat on your boyfriend with." His voice was unsteady.

He strained to withdraw himself from her but she wouldn't let go. "It's all or nothing, Kara." His eyes lowered to her mouth again. "God, I'm _completely fucking insane_." His laugh was bitter, because she was so beautiful and so _so_ unattainable even this in his reach.

"What if I didn't have a boyfriend?" Her words surprised him.

"What?" he said blankly, as his mind gave up on him for the second time. Really fucking _great_ , awake enough to stop him from something he obsessively wanted but not when he _needed it to fucking work._

"What if I told you it was just an act?" Kara’s gaze did not waver, even slightly glazed as it was, her hands still firmly curled in his hair.

Grimmjow never wanted her to let go; never wanted her to look away.

"I don't get a fucking word you're saying." He felt utterly lost.

“We’re not dating.” Her words were a pistol shot, emptied point blank into his heart.

“I’ve seen you together.” He said, frowning.

"No, you haven’t.” softer now, hands and voice gentling in tandem.

"What about him kissing you?" His voice lowered suddenly and he tried to pull away again.

She held on tighter, refusing to let go, tugging sharply at his hair in reprimand. "Trick of sight."

“How stupid do you-" he started, only to be shut up by her hand clamping over his mouth.

"Not." her mouth pulled up slightly in a smile.

He kind of hated how his only thought was that he wanted her to pull his hair again.

“We were never together, Grimmjow. He’s like a brother.”

“Why act like it then?”

“It’s a long story.” She looked at him, searchingly, only half focused on their conversation.

 His gaze flickered back to her mouth and giving in he kissed her fiercely again, his arms overlapping around her waist as he pulled her closer, tighter.

When they broke apart gasping for breath, he leaned his forehead against hers and looked at her.

"I really thought you hated me. I don’t really get what we’re doing."

“Kissing?” she asked, mouth curling up as wickedly as her tone was innocent.

He felt his heartstrings pull taut at this sudden familiarity in the way she sniped at him.

“Why Kara?” he asked, still, helplessly stuck.

She blinked and sighed a little, her hand sliding from his hair to his cheek in a light caress. "I don't. I never have, but…" Her voice broke off.

"But, what?" he asked, voice gentler than he had ever imagined himself capable of.

"I'm not at the position where I can lose someone else again." She looked at him, emerald eyes suddenly frighteningly open, begging him to understand. "It was bad enough with mom and dad, but I couldn't let you get any closer just to watch you walk away…"

"What made you think I'd walk away?" He smothered his knee jerk reflex to respond with a snarky comment, willing her to see his sincerity.

"I don’t know.” Her voice was smaller than he’d ever heard it. “I was scared.”

"I’m scared too." He admitted, softly. He felt himself flush, and wanted desperately to look away, but kept his eyes on hers. “You turned away so easily… I’m still afraid.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft; as soft as her lips as they followed her words, and lingered on his mouth. He didn’t have words to express how he felt his aggression melt. It was gentler, kinder than anything, everything he’d ever done before.

Grimmjow just knew he wanted to stay.

He needed to stay.

He pulled back, touching his forehead to hers, and lingering.

“ _Kara_.” His voice sounded so completely unlike his. It was wrecked.

The way he said her name was a promise, a question, and a request all rolled into one.

The way she laughed, soft and kind, hard edges vanishing into the ether; shifting forward; leaning her face into the crook of his neck, before whispering his name in return.

It felt like she understood.

* * *

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8.4k words *whoof*
> 
> So glad i'm finally done. Now maybe i can move on to writing new stuff instead of obsessing over this
> 
> Comments?

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to take this moment to say, though i am no longer part of this fandom, i really adored this particular set of characters and may have written myself into this situation, which is probably why my OC Kara is here.  
> i would however, like to think my plot writing ability has improved beyond this point considering this was written 7+ years ago, and i was just a stupid teenager.
> 
> No, i do not know why i chose to post this on my brand new ao3 account. Nor why i chose to rewrite it..
> 
> leave comments anyway? x
> 
> *awkward embarrassed laugh* *cowers from rotten tomatoes*


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